Working On A Dream
by Invicta
Summary: Sequel to Truth and Consequences. JJ struggles after returning from East Allegheny; Henry moves on. However, some things never change. Denial ain't just some big creek in the desert.
1. Chapter 1

**Lonesome Day**

**By Bruce Springsteen**

_Baby, once I thought I knew_

_Everything I needed_

_To know about you_

JJ tried to sleep. She hadn't had a good night's sleep since they'd got back from East Allegheny.

The idea that her best friend, the man - only man - in her life she trusted completely, could lie to her like that. For so long. It was something JJ could not understand. No matter how many hours she thought about it.

_Your sweet whisper_

_Your tender touch_

_But I didn't really know that much_

He had always been the one she turned to. All her life he had been her constant. The hidden reserve of strength she could call upon when things became too much. Apparently, all the soul searching and confession was one way. As she lay staring up at the ceiling, JJ wondered exactly how much of what she knew had been true.

_Joke__'s on me but, it's gonna be ok._

_If I can just get through this lonesome day._

_Lonesome day._

JJ got out of her bed and quietly left the bedroom. She had to get her head together. Her friends had been tolerable so far, but they were profilers; it wouldn't be long before they felt compelled to try and help.

It would be so much easier if they didn't know. They had all been there, heard her father and Henry. Knew what they had done, what her life had been like before she left. Now she felt like another poor victim they had to pity. JJ had never wanted anybody's pity.

The profilers all had their demons. The things in their past that drove them to do what they did. JJ had always been the normal one; calm, put together, private JJ. The fact that her team had kicked in the door of her wardrobe and pulled every skeleton out into the light…well, the irony was not lost on her.

_Hell__'s brewing, dark sun's on the rise_

_This storm'll blow through and_

_By and by_

Will was starting to notice, too. In the last few days, JJ had lost count of the number of times he had asked if she was okay. She wanted to scream at him. Tell him that no, she was not _okay. _She couldn't, though. That would mean telling him why; she would have to explain everything and she didn't think she wanted him to know. She just needed to sit tight, let things go back to normal on their own and life would carry on.

They'd been just fine before. Henry didn't know what he was talking about. She'd never told him about Will and the baby. He didn't know what he was talking about.

_House is on fire, vipers in the grass._

_A little revenge and this too shall pass._

_This too shall pass. _

She worried about him. As much as it irritated her, she wondered what new and improved Hell he was going through now everybody knew. She imagined that he was holed up in the house, writing. He probably hadn't left the study in days.

JJ was ashamed that a part of her hoped he was suffering as much as she was. He had suffered for so long. The truth should have absolved him, more likely it had focussed the town's rage on him as they blamed anyone but themselves for the stench of corruption and deceit surrounding them. JJ knew how they felt.

Not that it made her anymore inclined to call him. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He could suffer right along with her. Just several hundred miles away.

_Darling, yeah, I__'m gonna pray._

_At night, when all I got's this lonesome day._

_Lonesome day._

The light was starting to change in the house. The darkness was slowly receding as morning arrived. A new day was rapidly approaching and JJ still had so many questions, so many thoughts careering around in her mind. Every night was the same paradox: she wanted something to make it better but she couldn't bring herself to find her solace. It was too painful. She had made bargains with any and every deity she could think of but divine intervention wasn't going to help her. Every dawn came with JJ still wrestling with her guilt. Guilt about what happened; guilt about the life he'd given up for her; guilt about the life she was living; guilt that she was wasting it away.

JJ chuckled mirthlessly. She wasn't even Catholic.

_It__'s alright, it's alright, it's alright._

_Yeah._

Henry would be awake soon. Life at it's simplest. The only respite JJ had from this torment was her son.

_It__'s alright, it's alright, it's alright._

_Yeah._

She hadn't needed him for that. Henry was her own creation. If she could get that right then she could do this.

_It__'s alright, it's alright, it's alright._

_Yeah._

She could still go to work, still change the world. Her work had been her crutch before. Seven am wasn't too early to be in the office everyday.

_It's alright, it's alright…_

Oh, who the Hell was she kidding.

_Better ask questions before you shoot._

_Deceit and betrayals._

_Bitter fruit. _

He'd held as she poured her heart out; the insecurities, the fear, all of it. She had bared her soul looking for truth and he had kept so much hidden. _Her father,_ for God's sake, her father had been behind it. Her brothers had known about it, been part of it. He could have told her. He should have told her. How do you let a friend find that out about her family in the middle of a police station. What kind of man lets that happen?

He'd told her to leave it alone.

_It__'s hard to swallow, come the time to pay._

_That taste on your tongue_

_Don't easily slip away._

Some things are supposed to be constant. All the counsel he'd given was tainted by one decision so many years ago. All the weekends they had spent exploring cities because she had struggled to feel comfortable with her new friends. All the late night phone calls when she had been too nervous to sleep before exams. Everything she had learnt to hold on to had been ripped away from her in one afternoon. She took a sip of coffee to ward off the bile she felt rising in her throat.

_Let Kingdom come._

_I'm gonna find my way_

_To get through this lonesome day._

JJ downed the last of her coffee and straightened up with a new resolve. Will could deal with Henry, it was time for Agent Jareau to stage a comeback. Jennifer was gone, locked away with Henry Sheridan in the little box in her mind.

_Lonesome day_

She didn't need Henry.

_Lonesome day_

She could ignore Will.

_Lonesome day_

She could dodge her friends' concern.

_It__'s alright, it's alright, it's alright_

_Yeah._

JJ was back.

_It__'s alright, it's alright, it's alright_

_Yeah._

East Allegheny was just a town she happened to have lived in once.

_It__'s alright, it's alright._

The new and improved JJ lasted about as long as it usually did. Until she reached her car.

_It__'s alright_

She made it to the end of the road before the tears fell.

_It's alright, it's alright._

She was back in control by the time the FBI building loomed large in front of her.

_It's alright, it's alright, now._

There was enough work to keep her mind busy today.

_Lonesome day_

As long as she didn't have any messages from Will.

_Lonesome day_

As long as she didn't talk to her well-meaning friends.

_Lonesome day_

As long as she didn't think about him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Long Walk Home**

**By Bruce Springsteen**

_Last night I stood at your doorstep  
Trying to figure out what went wrong.  
You just slipped somethin' into my palm  
Then you were gone._

After the FBI had left town, Henry Sheridan had walked from the police station to the Jareau house. He stood there for a while, he couldn't say how long exactly. Daniel had told him to go home but he couldn't quite bear to go back to the house. He thought the older man must have understood when he pressed a piece of paper into his hand and told him that he had heard Virginia was nice this time of year.

JJ's address was neatly printed in her own hand. The olive branch had been extended to her brother. He gently tucked the paper into his wallet - he couldn't use it.

_I could smell the same deep green of summer.  
Above me the same night sky was glowin'.  
In the distance I could see the town _

_Where I was born._

He turned back toward the road. The town was laid out before him in the dusky light. His mind could conjure up an image for each landmark, a memory he had shared with her. He started to walk, his leg protesting after the journey up to the house. His life was so inextricably linked to hers; her life here. He knew nothing of the family she had in Virginia, of her son.

_It's gonna be a long walk home  
Hey pretty Darling, don't wait up for me  
Gonna be a long walk home  
A long walk home_

It would be a long time before this was all over. The truth might have come out, the guilty might have gotten their punishments of sorts, but innocents had been caught up in the crossfire. Her _innocence_. There was no justice, not after all this time. The fallout would be echoing around this town long after due process was over. Everybody had lost in this case.

Coach Jareau lost his status.

Tom Landers lost his freedom.

He lost her.

_In town I passed Sal's grocery  
The barbershop on South Street  
I looked into their faces  
They were all rank strangers to me_

As he walked through town, something he didn't care to do very often, he could feel everyone looking at him. He was the victim, he had done nothing wrong; they didn't care. He had no allies here, no friends to support him. He stared at a teenager wearing a high school jacket; the young man glared at him and bumped his shoulder as he passed - he wasn't even old enough to know what had happened, yet the hatred was there.

No, there were no friends here. He walked past the police station again and stared at an SUV from the local FBI office. His mind flashed back to earlier that afternoon, when JJ had been sat in the BAU vehicle and turned away from him. He realised sadly that, right now, he had no friends anywhere.

_The veterans' hall high up on the hill  
Stood silent and alone  
The diner was shuttered and boarded  
With a sign that just said "gone"._

His dreams had been shattered a long time ago. The scholarship to Annapolis, the career as a pilot in the Marines. She had teased him about the uniform, about Top Gun…When they had been younger, before life had intruded on them, they would sit around with their friends and laugh over hamburgers and cola.

It had been her dreams that had sustained him since then.

_It's gonna be a long walk home.  
Hey pretty Darling, don't wait up for me  
Gonna be a long walk home.  
Hey pretty Darling, don't wait up for me  
Gonna be a long walk home.  
It's gonna be a long walk home._

He thought about how far she had gone. To Georgetown, to the FBI. His best friend was on TV giving master classes in how to control a room full of people.

Maybe this was all for the best. She was so far away from this town now. The only thing pulling her back was him, the only thing that stopped her from moving on completely. Every time they were together it seemed like she had further to go to get back.

Maybe it was time for him to let her go.

_Here everybody has a neighbour  
Everybody has a friend__  
Everybody has a reason  
To begin again_

He saw Jake Jareau get out of his car and head for the local bar. Several people were crowding around him, greeting him with a handshake. His grey eyes locked with Sheridan's; the older man smiled and clapped Tom Landers' father on the back. His confident gaze only breaking as they walked into the bar, talking animatedly.

He drew in a deep breath to ward of the tears of frustration and then carried on walking out of town.

_My father said "Son, we're lucky in this town  
It's a beautiful place to be born.  
It just wraps its arms around you  
Nobody crowds you, nobody goes it alone._

_You know flag flying over the courthouse  
Means certain things are set in stone;  
Who we are, what we'll do _

_And what we won't."  
_

He was sure he had done the right thing. The sins of the father shouldn't be borne by his children. JJ had also been her father's victim. He felt a tremendous amount of guilt for not being able to stop it sooner. The police had done nothing, the school, the community…She only had him.

He was a good man. A man who cared about her a great deal and couldn't watch her suffer any longer. He carried the burden of his deceit for over a decade, never telling her. He couldn't do that to her.

If he had the chance to do it again, he knew he would make the same choice in a heartbeat. It was his nature to protect.

_It's gonna be a long walk home  
Hey pretty Darling, don't wait up for me  
Gonna be a long walk home  
Hey pretty Darling, don't wait up for me  
Gonna be a long walk home  
It's gonna be a long walk home_

There was nothing he could do now. What's done is done. If he had any chance to rebuild his relationship with her, it would have to be on her terms. That meant waiting until she was ready to talk to him again.

The buildings began to fade away as he started along the road out of town. He thought the emptiness of the land was strangely fitting.

_It's gonna be a long walk home.  
Hey pretty Darling, don't wait up for me  
Gonna be a long walk home.  
Hey pretty Darling, don't wait up for me  
Gonna be a long walk home.  
It's gonna be a long walk home._

He dragged himself up the steps to his front door. The pain in his leg was excruciating and his hands shook as he fumbled with the keys. Managing to get across the threshold, he let his body fall to the floor. His body shook as he cried. It was the first time he had cried since she had left; he knew it wouldn't be the last.

_It's gonna be a long walk home._


	3. Chapter 3

AN: This is nearly the end of what I had mapped out for this little sequel. It's taken three attempts to get it up on here so I hope it's worth it. Two things I'd like to ask:

1) Did people like the songs as a base for the stories?

2) I've grown quite fond of Henry Sheridan now. I have another story planned that would take place after this downward spiral of JJ's. I like JJ angst, but the show has the team so damnably secretive with each other that I feel like I have to bring in a new character to keep everybody else _in _character.

Review are really welcome because I've never done 'song fic' before.

* * *

**Hearts of Stone  
By Bruce Springsteen**

_You stare in the mirror at the lines in your face  
And you try to see, girl  
The way things were when we were at your place  
In the days it was just you and me, girl_

It was little things. The way the media liaison, who was usually so adept at corralling journalists, rode roughshod over the press pack. Talking over their questions, curt answers when she could not avoid them, and the terse way she was interacting with the locals.

Then there was her behaviour towards the team. JJ had spent all her time working on paperwork, or out on interviews. Whenever somebody tried to engage with her, the response was the same. Reid was humoured, but usually ignored whilst she completed more paperwork. Rossi was treated with politeness and efficiency. Morgan was shut down, JJ quickly changing the subject or telling him to mind his own business. Emily was avoided outright.

The unsub was targeting reconciliations. Three sets of people who had experienced some kind of separation or distancing and then worked it out.

The first victims were a couple who had recently called off divorce proceedings after deciding to try again. The second was a drunk father who had embarked on the 12 steps and reconnected with his estranged daughter. The third was a young man who had organised a reunion of graduates and had ended up marrying his college girlfriend.

This case had been hard on JJ. People had started to notice. Morgan was ready to storm the ladies room where JJ had fled to moments before. Emily had asked him if he thought he might not stand out a little in there. He sat back down and smugly volunteered her to go and make sure their friend was okay.

_And you cry because things ain't like before  
Well, don't you know?  
They can't be that way anymore  
But don't worry, baby_

JJ leant against the sink in the small bathroom and splashed her face with cold water; she had to get herself under control before the others saw her. The unsub had confessed quickly, he was on the very edge of complete break down. His trigger had been the death of his son in a car accident. JJ couldn't get his words out of her head.

"_They all had a second chance! I didn't get that! The last thing my son heard was me yelling at him for being late. I never got to tell him how much I loved him!"_

It had been three months since she had left East Allegheny.

She dialled her voicemail again. She raised her head as Emily nudged the door open and gave her a questioning look. JJ raised a finger to halt any queries from the other woman, who simply slipped into the bathroom and leant up against the now-closed door. JJ was thankful that her friend thought to ward off any other do-gooders, slightly irritated that she wasn't thoughtful enough to do it from outside.

_I can't talk now  
I'm not alone  
So put your ear close to the phone  
Cos this is the last dance  
This is the last chance  
For hearts of stone_

JJ turned away from her friend as the message played.

_I know you don't want to talk to me. That's why I'm calling in the middle of the night and leaving a message. I just…I'm moving away, I got a real job with a senator from New York…It felt strange not telling anyone. I just wanted you to know. Just in case._

That had been left a month ago. JJ had no idea what 'just in case' meant.

_If there was something, baby, that I could do  
Something that would last, honey I would  
But we all know, darlin', especially you do  
How you can't return to your past._

Several times, JJ had been close to asking Garcia to track Henry Sheridan down. Every time, she managed to talk herself out of it. She thought it would get easier with time, but it was getting harder and harder to stay away. However much of a mistake she thought it would be, her resolve was slipping.

_So__, girl, close your eyes and I'll be there  
Hold me once more  
And we can go anywhere  
Ah, we could, babe_

Life was getting too complicated. Will had confronted her about all the overtime she was working. They had fought just before she had left for this case; Will demanding to know why she kept listening to her damn voicemail at night instead of coming to bed. He had been patient with her but three months was a long time to be frozen out.

The team were hovering around her, waiting to swoop in and give her some unhelpful advice. She had seen the worried looks and really wished they could have been as oblivious as they usually were. JJ risked a glance at Emily - yep, there was that look of concern again.

JJ wanted it all to go away; for everyone to leave her alone so she could figure it out.

"I'm fine, Emily." She said as she pulled open the door and strode out past the surprised profiler.

_But, I can't talk now  
I'm not alone  
Just put your ear close to the phone  
This is the last dance  
The last chance  
For hearts of stone_

The house was quiet when JJ crept in. The rest of the team had gone straight home from the airstrip but she had elected to go back to the office and catch up on some work. Will had called twice to find out where she was before giving up.

After checking on her sleeping son, JJ grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and curled herself into the corner of her sofa. She pulled out her phone and hit the familiar combination of buttons.

_I know you don't want to talk to me. That's why I'm calling in the middle of the night and leaving a message. I just…_

_And you cry because things ain't like before  
Well, don't you know?  
They can't be that way anymore  
But don't worry, baby  
I know it, baby_

JJ's sobbing had woken Will. He stopped when he saw her hugging her knees to her chest and clutching her phone; he didn't have to wait long before she fell into a restless sleep. For three months, the mother of his child had barely been home. He didn't want to invade her privacy, he just wanted to understand, so he carefully took the phone from her hand and hit repeat.

_But, I can't talk now  
I'm not alone.  
So put your ear close to the phone__  
Baby, this is the last chance  
The last dance  
For hearts of stone_

Emily and Garcia had double teamed JJ until she had agreed to a night out. The team, minus Hotch and Rossi, were sitting in their usual pub. Reid and Will were sat at a table discussing the merits of different learning techniques, at least, Reid was talking and Will was politely sitting there. Emily, Morgan and Garcia were sat at a table watching their blonde colleague.

JJ slammed her cell phone down on the bar with far more force than was necessary, particularly as she had not been on a call. As the blonde ordered her third scotch from the bartender, Emily registered two distinctly painful suggestions that she do something. Glaring at Morgan and Garcia whilst reaching down to rub her shins, Emily twisted to look at JJ. Seeing the state of the other woman, she turned back to her friends.

"Why me?"

"Because." Morgan intoned as if he had just delivered the answer to life itself. Emily dismissed him as drunk and turned her eyes on Garcia.

"You know more than the rest of us." The tech shrugged in reply.

Emily tried to resist the urge to point at Reid.

"Fine." She huffed as she stood and made her way from their booth to the bar.

Even the bartender flinched as JJ slammed her phone down again. The young man looked positively ecstatic to see someone make their way over to the crazy lady. _Wimp_, Emily thought as she slid onto the stool next to JJ.

"Is there an infestation problem here?"

JJ looked up sharply, her eyes glowing with anger. Or it could have been the scotch.

"You keep hammering away with your phone." Emily waved a hand towards the abused device.

"Do you want another drink?" JJ asked as she waved the bartender over.

"Neither of us is having anymore to drink."

JJ snorted and started pushing buttons on her phone. She got as far as hovering her thumb over the 'call' button, and then quickly hit 'cancel' before slamming the phone back down. Emily let a small smile grace her lips as she realised what JJ had _actually_ been doing with her phone. The profiler was impressed that she could still do that after the weird concoctions Garcia had been plying her with.

"Let Will take you home, Jayj."

Another snort from JJ, and Emily decided it was somebody else's turn. She patted JJ on the arm and left her to her destruction.

"Well?"

"Voicemail again."

"What are we going to do?" Garcia worried.

Emily waved a hand at her friend. "In the morning. Right now, I need to sleep...Oh, no."

Garcia and Morgan followed Emily's line of sight. Will had excused himself from Reid and looked as though he was trying to get JJ to leave. They didn't need to be profilers to see that it wasn't going to end well.

"Leave me alone, Will."

"C'mon, JJ. You're tanked, darlin'. You need to go home."

JJ pulled her arm out of his grasp. "Don't tell me what I need to do!"

"You're making a scene, JJ." He warned as he followed her towards the door.

"I don't care!" She shouted as she stalked away.

Will made another grab for her as they reached the street. "What the Hell is the matter with you?!"

The others had followed the warring couple out of the pub, worried for their friend. JJ violently shrugged Will's hand from her shoulder; the force of Will pulling her back and JJ swinging her arm causing her to spin round. They watched helplessly as she continued to walk away, staring at him as she yelled back. "You couldn't possibly understand!"

They all wore identical expressions of shock as Will lurched forward, too late to stop JJ stepping off the sidewalk and into the path of a car.


	4. Chapter 4

**Badlands**

**By Bruce Springsteen & ****the E Street Band**

_Lights out tonight;__ trouble in the heartland.  
Got a head on collision, smashing in my guts man  
I'm caught in a crossfire that I don't understand  
But there's one thing I know for sure:_

The first time the power went out, Henry put it down to an annoying technical hitch. When the electricity company said his lines had been cut, he had paid a visit to Jake Jareau. Predictably, the sonuvabitch had laughed. The second time his truck picked up a puncture in town, he decided the people he had grown up with were children. The third night in a row that the police cruiser buzzed his house, Henry decided he needed to leave.

It was never going to end and, really, what did he have left to stay for? Sometimes those that were thought brave were just the ones too scared to run away.

_Girl, I don't give a damn about the same old played out scenes  
Baby, I don't give a damn for just the in-betweens  
Honey, I want the heart, I want the soul, I want control right now.  
You better listen to me, baby_

Henry Sheridan pulled the door to his parents' house closed for the last time. He would always have the memories. He leant against the hood of his Ford 55 truck and took one last look at the place he had always called home. He remembered tossing a football with his grandfather because his father knew nothing about sport; he remembered his mother taking photos of him learning to ride his bike; he remembered his father teaching him the value of words; he remembered sitting on the porch, making fun of the latest high school crush his best friend had….

He shook his head. Those memories were to be packed away in a box and forgotten. Henry straightened up and pulled the driver's door open, resolute in his decision to leave it all behind. Life in the State of Independence was too painful for him now. For three months he had waited for a phone call, a visit, anything that told him he hadn't ruined everything. It never came. Twelve weeks of silence had taken their toll on his pride. It was time to move on and leave all this – leave her – behind.

_Talk about a dream, try to make it real  
You wake up in the night with a fear so real  
You spend your life waiting for a moment that just don't come  
Well, don't waste your time waiting_

Washington was not East Allegheny. It was terrifying – exciting, but terrifying all the same. Senator Thompson had called personally to offer him a job. The lady had class, Henry had to admit, and ideas.

His first week in the nation's capital was a blur of introductions and late nights in the office reading position papers. The senator's staff had made him feel welcome but he still felt like an outsider. The boy with no college degree, no experience in politics, putting words into the mouth of the party's rising star. It was a world away from namelessly writing remarks for minor politicos.

On Henry's birthday he had refused any attempt to celebrate, instead choosing to leave early and go home. He woke suddenly to the sound of his phone ringing. After hunting around unopened boxes, he answered brightly when he saw the familiar number of a Quantico line.

"Henry Sheridan."

"Are you seriously sitting at home moping?"

Henry sunk back down into the sofa and sighed. "Should you be making personal calls from an FBI line?"

Emily chuckled, "Probably not. Call it a follow up on a case. Official business."

Henry stayed silent.

"Hawk 'n' Dove in ten?" Emily asked, sympathy lacing her voice.

_Badlands, you got to live it everyday  
Let the broken heart stand as the price you gotta pay  
Keep pushing til it's understood  
And these badlands start treating us good_

After hanging up, Henry changed into something that didn't scream 'I came home from work and sat by the phone all night' – he was meeting a profiler, after all. He wasn't sure if the agent was taking pity on him because he had let slip it was his birthday, or because she needed to get drunk.

The semi-regular meetings with Emily were the only link Henry allowed himself to his old life, to Jennifer.

_Working in the fields, Hell you get your back burned  
Working 'neath the wheels, til you get your facts learned  
Baby, I got my facts learned real good right now  
You better get it straight, darlin'_

Henry rubbed at his eyes and blinked at the clock: three am. Looking at the legal pad in front of him on the desk, he saw that all he had there was one terrible paragraph about child healthcare provision and a note from his assistant telling him to sleep. He stretched his arms and reached over to pull a binder from the shelf to his left. Somewhere in the pages was the sound bite he needed to get the senator some coverage in the press.

He thought about the little boy he had never met. He wondered if he ever got the football jersey. He wondered if he was blonds like his mother, had her blue eyes, her smile. He let his head fall into his hands; he needed people around to keep his mind focused on the job. Henry briefly considered making a play for the 'worst boss in the world' award and calling his assistant back to the office.

He turned the first page of the binder and began reading. After a few paragraphs, he began to write:

_"Laissez faire is not an option. __We are the greatest nation on Earth, this should not be happening here. Nearly 1 in 10 of our children is without health insurance. 1 in 10…"_

_Poor men wanna be rich, rich men wanna be king  
And a king ain't satisfied until he rules everything  
I'm gonna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got_

The party was in full swing. Henry had lost count of how many drinks people had bought for him. The senator had, quite simply, kicked ass in her debate. He didn't think it was down to him but wasn't going to let good liquor go to waste. He looked across the room and saw the senator's chief of staff reenacting her demolition of the cantankerous old bigot who had wanted to argue gay marriage with a lesbian.

This is what his father had taught him; this is what words could do.

_Well, I believe in the love that you gave me  
I believe in the faith that can save me  
I believe in the hope and I pray  
That someday it will raise me above_

Henry had never been particularly religious, but every once in a while he would find himself in a church. This house of God was resplendent with its Christmas nativity. He sat near the back, eyes closed and head back. He cracked an eye when he sensed a presence settle next to him.

"Something troubling you, son?"

"Someone."

The priest nodded sagely. "Trying to forget her?"

Henry wondered, not for the first time, about the omniscience of God..

The older man smiled and pointed at the picture Henry was gripping tightly. "That man isn't you."

Henry stared at the picture. Emily had given it to him in a moment of weakness. It was taken in a park, he didn't know which one; a man holding his son while Jennifer looked on, smiling at the blonde haired boy.

_These b__adlands, you gotta live it everyday  
Let the broken heart stand as the price you gotta pay  
Keep pushing til it's understood  
And these badlands start treating us good_

It was getting easier. He slept better now; the sleepless nights waiting for a call that never came were behind him. He had a standing lunch with the senator where she would mother him and make sure he ate at least one green thing a week. His drinking sessions with Emily involved less drink and more politician-bashing, he didn't ask about _her_ and Emily didn't volunteer any information.

_For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside  
That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive  
I'm wanna find one face that ain't looking through me  
I wanna find one place; I wanna spit in the face_

Henry Sheridan had a life. And it didn't revolve around Jennifer Jareau.

_Of these b__adlands, you gotta live it everyday  
Let the broken heart stand as the price you gotta pay  
Keep pushing til it's understood  
And these badlands start treating us good._

"Pick up, pick up, pick up." Emily chanted into the phone as it rang and rang.

"Sheridan." He answered sleepily. It was the middle of the night; if the senator was rewriting her speech he was going to nail her hands to a desk. A writer could only take so much editing before he developed a complex.

"You need to come down to GW."

"The where? Who is this?"

"It's me. JJ's in the hospital, George Washington Hospital – she's asking for you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Breathing  
By Lifehouse**

**_I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't know what I'm gonna do when I get there.  
Take a breath and hold on tight, spin round one more time  
Then gracefully fall back to the arms of grace._**

JJ watched the door close gently behind the doctor; she stared at it a moment longer, that action being the only one that held her composure intact.

_Do you have a therapist, Ms Jareau? I really think you should speak to someone…_

She let her head fall back against the pillows, feeling the wetness of tears streaking down her face. She knew that the team were outside, waiting for news, but right there in the hospital bed…JJ had never felt so alone. The darkness was suffocating, she hated not being able to make out the furniture in the room; the doctor had turned off the lamp in the corner when he left - probably to encourage her to sleep. She snorted; sleep wasn't something that came easily to her anymore.

Maybe she _was_ crazy, maybe her family had finally managed to drive her insane. She really didn't know anymore. She did know one thing, though: this couldn't go on. Her beautiful baby boy needed her.

Perhaps…if she could just clear the air. If they could just agree to get on with their lives away from each other.

_Or maybe, you could cut him some slack and be grateful that he cared that much._

JJ wasn't one to back down. Stubbornness and determination had got her where she was today.

_In a hospital bed because you walked in front of a car. Drunk._

She couldn't do this anymore. Loneliness was an alien concept.

_Time to bite the bullet, Jareau. _

Her world needed to be righted again.

'_**Cause I am hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't want to speak tonight, that's alright, alright with me.**_  
'_**Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door  
And listen to you breathing, that's where I want to be.**_

Reid had long since offered to drive Morgan home. Emily and Will sat in awkward silence outside JJ's room. Garcia had been in there for a few minutes, now. The profiler glanced over at her companion; he looked…resigned. Emily realised things were, apparently, worse than they had thought. They both looked up as Garcia hurriedly shut the door.

"Garcia? What's wrong?"

The tech looked between Will and Emily, her mouth opening and closing. Emily thought she was about to burst into tears.

"I think it was the painkillers talking."

"What did she say?" Will demanded, softly. The man was eerily calm about the whole thing.

"She said…She wanted me to find Henry, that she didn't know where he was but she needed to see him. She said something about New York." Garcia was confused and worried at the strange behaviour.

Emily reached a hand out to her friend and smiled reassuringly. She had a sneaking suspicion that this might happen. Her face betrayed her shock, however, when Will spoke up.

"He works for a New York senator." He pulled out JJ's Blackberry and played her voicemail. He handed the phone to Garcia and walked away.

"Emily?"

The other woman had pulled her own phone out and was dialling quickly. "Pick up, pick up, pick up." Emily chanted into the phone as it rang and rang, "You need to come down to GW….It's me. JJ's in the hospital, George Washington Hospital – she's asking for you."

_**I'm looking past the shadows in my mind, into the truth  
And I'm trying to identify the voices in my head - God, which one are you?  
Let me feel, one more time, what it feels like to feel  
And break these calluses off of me, one more time.**_

"I need him, Pen."

That was it. That was all it took to finally shatter any last vestige of her defences. She couldn't do it anymore; she didn't care how weak it made her seem, how much she hated needing him after what he had done. JJ needed someone to make her world right - and that lying, traitorous bastard was the only one that could.

The last three months had been damage limitation. Nobody could know what was happening, nobody could guess that she was falling apart. Look what that did - made her miserable and everyone else suspicious. Her mother had once said that she should hold onto Henry, that he would always be there for her. She guessed that her mother hadn't envisaged their lives becoming so screwed up.

JJ wondered briefly if this was how Emily felt; everything sealed off in little compartments. She didn't like the feeling, she didn't particularly like the pain either, but at least it was something. She always led with her heart, empathised with the cops and families; empathising required you to actually have feelings - all she had inside was emptiness. There was an emptiness where her love for Will should be; there relationship was so one-sided, it was a parody. The part of her that should have confided in her friends was silent, unwilling to show weakness. The space she held for _him _was so full of things she didn't want to think about.

'_**Cause I am hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't want to speak tonight, that's alright, alright with me.**_  
'_**Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door  
And listen to you breathing, that's where I want to be.**_

Emily looked up as she heard someone approaching. She had guessed it would take him a little longer to get to the hospital, given his leg and the fact she had woken him up.

She watched as he reached out a hand to the door; he hesitated before pushing it open a few inches. Emily patted a hand reassuringly on Garcia's arm, letting the overprotective woman know that he was friend not foe, then she pushed herself up out of the plastic chair and made her way over. He just stood, staring through the small gap, but he sensed her presence.

"Why did you call me?"

Emily thought he sounded as though he was in actual pain at having to see her. His face was an enviable mask of nothingness, but she had heard too many drunken confessions to be fooled by it.

"Why did you come?" She asked, pushing the door fully open and giving him a gentle shove.

Henry stood at the end of the hospital bed. She looked peaceful, but he could see her tear-stained face. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Eventually, with his leg protesting, he limped over to the chair in the corner and sat. He switched on the small lamp and watched the rise and fall of her chest.

And he waited.

_**I don't want a thing from you.  
I bet you're tired of me waiting for the scraps  
To fall off of your table to the ground.**_  
'_**Cause I just want to be here now.**_

JJ woke slowly, groggily, around mid-morning. Vague memories of the night before came back to her, she remembered yelling and crying. She heard movement and grimaced at the prospect of facing Will. Then she remembered asking - begging - Garcia…_Oh, God._ JJ lifted her head enough to see the figure in the corner wasn't Will. JJ panicked. Now what was she supposed to do?

"Are you hungry?" He asked, indicating the tray that had been left earlier by a nurse.

JJ shook her head, worrying her bottom lip as he stared at her.

"Are you ok?" He asked, waving a hand towards the door and the nurses beyond.

JJ shook her head, screwing her eyes shut as he stood.

"Are you going to talk about it?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her refusal to answer him.

JJ shook her head, letting a single tear roll down her cheek as she realised he had really come.

"Okay, then." He whispered, pulling his chair next to the bed. He sat, stretched his legs out in front of him and leant his head back against the top of the chair. He flipped JJ's hand over and covered it with his own. He closed his eyes. "Okay, then."

'_**Cause I am hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't want to talk tonight, that's alright, alright with me.**_  
'_**Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door  
And listen to you breathing, that's where I want to be.**_

A soft sniffling woke him. He rolled his head to the side to check on JJ and saw the tears slowly making their way down her face. He squeezed her hand and felt her fingers slip between his.

"How do I fix this?"

Henry moved to sit facing JJ on the bed. "Fix what?"

JJ sighed and glared at him. "Everything! Everything is wrong, Harry."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "I can't fix everything. I'm working on world peace, but my Korean is a bit rusty."

"You're an ass."

JJ wasn't smiling. Henry looked down at their joined hands and asked quietly, "Where do you want to start?"

"Us."

Henry looked up and gripped her hand tighter in his. "Done."

"Just like that?" She asked, surprised.

"Just like that." He nodded.

"You don't want me to say I'm sorry for ignoring you for three months?"

"Are you?"

JJ turned away. "Why did you do it? Why did you lie to me, Harry? You aren't supposed to lie to me!"

"I didn't lie. Never." He replied, shaking his head vehemently.

JJ pulled her hand away from his violently. "Come on," she scoffed, "you sat in a hospital bed - just like this one - and let me believe it was an accident."

Henry pointed a finger at her as he pushed off of the bed. "Right there: I let you believe. I did not lie."

"It was a lie of omission!" she yelled at him.

"Fine. I'm a liar. Happy now?" He shrugged.

"Grow up, Harry. My life is falling apart and you want to play semantics?"

Harry sat back in the chair by the bed. "When you want to have an actual discussion about why I was summoned here at three in the morning - you let me know."

"You weren't summoned."

"And your life didn't fall apart because of me." He spat. He would not take the blame for everything.

JJ suddenly felt terrified that he was going to leave; she was angry but she needed him to stay. She pushed herself up and tentatively reached out a hand to his shoulder.

"Don't go anywhere, okay?"

He tried to keep up the annoyed look but her voice was so soft and her face so utterly open…he didn't think he had ever seen her so lost.

He pulled the tray of food towards them and asked, "Are you going to eat this? All I've had is Red Bull and antacids."

* * *

**AN: **I have two questions: a) Is Henry a little too good to be true? Do I need to 'mean him up' a bit? and b) Do I let up on JJ? She's been hit by her father, betrayed by her best friend, I think I might have given her a bit of a drinking problem, she's screwed up her relationships, she got hit by a car, she's in hospital...I'm starting to feel bad about it.

Please review this bit - the 'seeing each other again' part is the only part I'm nervous about posting. It took quite a few rewrites for me to be happy. I'd love to hear you're thoughts on the story so far.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: **I had the hardest time getting this chapter done, I'm not sure if it works. I heard the song and it sounded very much like the JJ I've written. I don't have a beta so I tend to agonise over posting chapters - sorry for the wait. Please drop me a review, even if you want to tell me it sucks giant monkey balls. Thanks.

* * *

**In The Darkness  
By Christian Kane**

_**  
I guess I ought to tell you what**__**'s been going on****  
Well, I been chasing dreams for everyone but me  
When your heart is filled with misery  
It's hard to find the energy  
To remember just how much she means to me.**_

JJ sat on the couch, suitcase tucked tightly next to her legs and coat neatly folded over her knees. She looked around slowly and saw what his life was now. Most of the furniture she recognised from the house, some was new. There were plenty of pictures on the walls, on the bookshelves; some were of his parents, grandparents; some were of his work colleagues; some were of him and Emily at a bar. She saw that there were none of her.

She could hear him in the kitchen making coffee and she briefly wondered if she would be able to make it to the door without him noticing.

"One phone call and I can have Emily drag you back here."

She snapped her eyes away from the front door. He was smirking as he held out a steaming cup and then settled in a well worn leather armchair opposite her.

"You and Emily are pretty good friends, huh?"

"We get drunk together sometimes. Next topic you want to use as avoidance?"

She raised an eyebrow and glared at him. "Excuse me?"

"You want to fix things - fine. I said I would help you. I can't do it for you."

She rested her elbows on her knees and stared into the cup of coffee as if it held all the answers. Sitting in her used-to-be-and-needs-to-be-again best friend's living room, she figured this was her chance. That, and the fact that he was right - Emily would find her and get her ass back to him. She couldn't believe that they had actually talked her into staying with him; well, actually, she could. Jennifer Jareau, queen of avoidance, did not want to deal with Will or her son or her job. Not right now.

_**Well, I keep everything inside so long til it burns  
And everybody stokes the fire and the walls get a little higher  
I light the candle at both ends  
And I hit the gas, the wheels start to spin  
But she's always there to catch me when I fall  
**_

"I can't do this."

JJ walked back out of the kitchen and towards the guest bedroom. Henry let her go. It had been three days into her week of medical leave from the Bureau. All they had done was fight and then ignore each other. Lather, rinse, repeat.

He gave her an hour and then knocked on the door.

"Jennifer, as much as I love having a roommate, you need to start sorting yourself out. Your son is going to be homeless in two days."

That did it. JJ opened the door with enough force to send it slamming into the wall. He saw that she had been crying.

"Will called. He wants to go back to New Orleans. Garcia kindly asked if I needed her to look after my son for much longer. Derek wants to know if I need him to be at the house when Will gets his stuff. Hotch says I have to take my psych evaluation early….Do you think _you_ could possibly give me a damn break?!"

She pushed past him and out into the living room. She stalked around for a moment to collect herself, she didn't like feeling so out of control, so unstable. Finally, she decided that a drink was in order. He followed behind her as she fished a beer out of the refrigerator and twisted off the cap.

"That's what got you into this mess."

"Shut up, _Henry._" She snapped before taking a long drink.

"Oh? I've been 'Harry' for nearly thirty years and now its 'Henry'? I'm sorry, Jennifer, did opening my home and helping you work through your shit offend you?"

"Do not play the martyr with me. You don't get to do that again you sanctimonious sonofa-"

"Will you listen to yourself? What has made you so angry?"

"You're just like everybody else!"

"Is that so?!"

"You don't understand, Harry! You don't know what I'm dealing with!"

He looked at her, incredulously. "I don't understand? _I_ don't-" He shook his head in disbelief, "Life as you know it is over, the dreams you had are shattered!" Henry's voice was rising as he advanced towards her, "You can't ever be the same, can't ever go back, and every time you think about it you feel like…" he flung an arm out to his side in frustration, the other hand thumping into his chest, "like a little piece of you is _dying_ because _no one_ knows!" He looked her square in he eye, breathing heavily as he recovered from his outburst. "Yeah…I don't have any idea how that feels, do I?"

JJ could not move as he tried stormed away, out to the small garden behind the house. It was only then that she remembered how he had gotten that limp. _Dammit_.

She quietly slipped out the door into the cool night air. He was sitting on the ground staring up at the night sky.

"It's a little cold out here."

"I needed to cool off."

"Exactly how much do you hate me, right now?"

He turned slightly, but didn't stop stargazing. "I don't hate you."

"But you don't feel the love anymore, huh?" She tried to joke.

He held a hand out to her, beckoning her closer. She quickly acquiesced, clinging on to his hand as if he would disappear if she let go.

"I love you, Jennifer. I always have…I just don't like you very much at the moment."

"Well, I can't blame you - I don't like me very much."

He finally tore his eyes from the dark and cast them down at the ground. She sat next to him when he gently tugged at her hand.

"You can't keep doing this to me."

A little of the fire returned to her eyes, "Doing _what _to you?"

"Oh, for goodness sake, Jennifer. _This_. You can't keep blaming me; I didn't make your father a bully, I didn't make him hurt me, I didn't make him hurt you, and I did not tell your friends your big, bad secret…So, stop acting like I ruined your life."

"Go to Hell!"

He ducked as she punctuated the statement by hurling the bottle at the wall. He couldn't find the words to stop her when she got up and stormed out the gate into the street.

'_**Cos I been hell on wheels for days now  
There ain't a shelter and I can't think  
When the lights go down she always helps me see  
In the darkness the day will come  
Another light for you to lean upon  
But until then maybe your heart could rest in mine  
**_

_What did you just do?_

JJ jammed her hands deep into her pockets as she walked. She could see the bright lights of the monuments in the city and headed that way. She had no idea where she was going just that she needed to be away from him.

She didn't need anyone to protect her - or save her - she was an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigations. Except, apparently she did. She had refused to go back to her own home when she had been released from the hospital; Emily had suggested, and he had agreed, that she stay with him while she was on leave to sort things out.

Jennifer Jareau does not lose control. Except, apparently she has. Will was leaving her, she was upset that it didn't seem to bother her. Her friends were treating her like she was made of glass - _ my dad was a bullying thug and my brothers were spineless, I'm not anything like them. _It occurred to her that she had no more family left, her mother and sister were dead, her father might as well be, Will was gone.

She had shut out the father of her child and he had left; because she was too scared to fail at a relationship. How was that for irony? She could not bear to have anyone think that her life was anything less than perfect: man, child, house, job. Just what her mother always wanted.

What had she done to Henry? The man was trying - oh, God, was he trying - but she couldn't talk to him. He had a life; he had friends and a house and a job…all without her. He wanted to help and all she did was yell at him and throw bottles at his head.

The Lincoln Memorial was beautiful at night. Living in Virginia, she had never taken the time to visit the city that often. She stared up at the inscriptions.

…_**The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here…**_

It really did look beautiful, all lit up in the darkness.

"What have I done?"

_**I just can't get the hang of hanging on  
And every time I try to grab it, the wheel is gone  
When she looks into my eyes  
She sees a man she used to recognise  
And not the stranger trying to go it all alone**_

He froze as he heard his bedroom door click shut; it must have been the front door that had woken him. He squinted over his shoulder to see her leaning against the door, eyes burning a hole in the floor. The alarm clock was the only thing illuminating her features; it was showing 3:12 in its soft blue light.

"Where have you been?"

"I went for a walk."

"Until three in the morning." He stated and sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawning.

"Can we not do this now?" She whispered as she looked up. She'd been crying again.

"Good night, JJ."

She crossed the small distance to the bed and sat next to him. He watched, uncertain which mood she had shown up in. She threw an arm around him and buried her face in his shoulder. He held on tight as she started to cry.

He barely heard her whispered plea: "I'm so sorry; so, so sorry. For everything. I think I need you to fix me. You need to fix me, Harry."

_**Maybe, someday, I**__**'ll be able to see what she sees in me  
Maybe, someday, I'll be exactly who she wants me to be  
Maybe, someday, I'll have the strength  
To run into the man that I once was  
But right now I think I'll walk into a crawl**_

He squinted against the light streaming into the window, consciousness slow to find him after his early wake up. He slid a hand across the sheet and was met with nothing. He looked up and started when he realised she was sitting in the chair he threw his clothes on. Her face was inches from his as she leant forward. He did not know what he was expecting to happen, but the sudden appearance of a picture frame two inches from his nose was not it.

"Why is there only one picture of us in your apartment - and why is it next to your bed?"

"Can I wake up first?"

She wafted a cup of coffee in front of him. "You're awake. Answer me."

He waved a hand to indicate she should get up and then grabbed his jeans from the chair.

"Turn around."

She snorted, "Don't be precious. It's nothing I haven't seen before."

"It's something you don't get to see now. Turn around." He said, twirling a finger at her. She huffed, but complied.

She jumped when he grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room a few seconds later.

"Come with me."

The drive was suffered in silence. He was wearing a serious expression and she was too confused to ask where they were going. They stopped at a storage facility and he fished a key out of the glove compartment. She followed him into the lockup and gasped. It was filled with his football trophies and memorabilia; boxes of things she assumed he had not had room for in his new house. He was rummaging in boxes with a purpose.

"You want answers?" He asked as he turned back to her, "I keep you here so I don't spend my days wallowing in 'what ifs'." He held out a shoe box, "I'll be in the car."

She watched him go and then sat on the floor and opened the box. There were envelopes, neatly marked in his handwriting, containing photographs.

"Neat freak." She muttered under her breath.

She picked up one marked 'First game as Captain'. Grinning as she saw herself in full soccer flow, JJ flipped through the memories. The next one was marked 'Graduation - Pittsburgh'. She felt her breath hitch; he had been the only person to attend her college graduation and some of her friends had offered to take pictures of them. They both looked happy. She frowned as she saw an envelope marked 'Proudest day of my life'. The first picture out was of her in uniform when she graduated from Quantico.

She flipped through some others and then spotted a photograph that was not in an envelope. She let out a surprised sob; it was of her and Henry dancing at the senior prom. She flipped it over - 'Happiest day of my life, so far' was neatly printed on the back.

'_**Cos I been hell on wheels for days now  
There ain't a shelter and I can't think  
When the lights go down she always help me see****  
In the darkness the day will come  
Another light for you to lean upon  
But until then maybe your heart could rest in mine**_

The door slammed shut and he lazily turned to look at his angry passenger. She was clutching the shoe box tightly.

"Drive." She ground out through gritted teeth.

"Where?"

"Home. There are too many security cameras for me to kill you here."

"Jennifer…"

"We are so incredibly screwed up, you know that, right?" She asked, turning in her seat to face him.

He started laughing, "I do, indeed, know that."

"On the bright side, I now have proof this is all your fault."

He stopped smiling. "Wait…What?"

"We could have stopped all this - your 'accident', our spectacularly disastrous lives-"

"Speak for yourself."

"-it could all have been avoided if you had just asked me out to the damn prom."

"Ah." He drawled slowly.

"Ah, what?"

"JJ logic."

"Shut up and drive. I have a lot of things to sort out and one day left of leave."

"It's the weekend."

"Shut up. Drive. Now."


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:** This chapter is a bit mean after the hope of the last one. I just needed people to remember that Henry doesn't act from completely pure motives; everybody has their reasons for what they do. I think it was necessary though. Next up is Garcia getting clued in and once again getting Emily involved. Hopefully it will have better results than last time - I'm in a good mood at the moment.

Please let me know what you think, I'm curious. Thanks to everyone that has reviewed: reviews make me write, I'm not above begging, I'm really not. Any song suggestions are welcome too.

* * *

**Restless  
By Jennifer Warnes**

_**There are words to say but I swear I just can**__**'t find them,****  
Though in my heart I know.****  
Fools may hesitate from the memories behind them  
While the angels laugh and say,**_  
'_**I told you so'.**_

Henry sat nervously at the kitchen table, tracing patterns on the wooden surface. He did not risk glancing up at JJ, he knew she was glaring at him. The trip home from the storage facility had been silent and he knew she had been building up her righteous indignation. He was kicking himself for letting her get the better of him; he was supposed to be the calming influence.

Now he was stuck with a silent interrogation, not that it would last long. He was desperate for her to say something so he could start damage control. Why was everything with this woman so damnably complicated, and yet so stunningly simple at the same time?

For years he had waited to show her, to let her see, what he had held on to all these years. Not just the physical items in his lock up, but the memories and feelings that had meant the difference between living his life and merely existing. She had cast him out because he had lied about her father…._Jenn, that was not nearly the biggest thing I kept from you._

He knew this was going to end badly.

_**I**__**'m restless, darling, I'm restless  
Waiting for you to look my way.  
I don't think that I can wait  
Another day.**_

It started in school. He knew the exact moment: Charlie Green had just dumped her; eighth grade. When she had sought him out to walk home, he swore he would never let anyone make her feel that sad again. It did not really work, she still dated losers through high school, university and adulthood, but since eighth grade, she had someone to pick up the pieces.

On reflection, he decided that his younger self was a masochist; the long conversations where she gushed about her latest date, the inevitable phone call when it went horribly wrong. Prom night nearly killed him. In fact, he thinks that might be when he lost himself to her completely. When he had found her crying outside, and she had told him what had happened, he told her that her dress should not go to waste because of Tommy Landers and had then escorted her in to dance.

She had laughed, told him he was a wonderful guy, and then broken his heart by wishing her brothers could be more like him. His chance had gone before he had realised it was there.

Looking back, prom night was a complete disaster.

_**I cry when the feeling overtakes me**_  
'_**Cos the love I give seems so little in your eyes.  
The test of time always breaks me  
With nothing tried  
And nothing realised.**_

"Harry."

He blinked fiercely, and looked up. JJ had one eyebrow arched in question and he guessed that she had been talking to him.

"I'm sorry, what?"

She sighed, "I said, what wasn't nearly the biggest thing? And what else are you keeping from me?"

He froze upon realising that he had voiced his thoughts - some of them, at least. He tried to gauge how much trouble he was in, but he could not read her. He was tired, so very tired, of this dance they did. He briefly considered telling her everything; telling her why he had protected her, why he had fought like Hell for her, why he had conspired with her roommates to pay some of her bills, why he had dropped everything whenever she called, why he had given her anything he could…He looked at her again, her face a mixture of anger and curiosity, and felt like a door was closing on their friendship.

"Nothing." He mumbled and left the table.

_**I**__**'m restless, darling, I'm restless  
Waiting for you to look my way.  
I don't think that I can wait  
Another day.**_

He heard the study door open and waited for whatever this new circle of Hell was going to bring.

"Garcia will be here soon…I asked her to bring Henry over, she deserves a break. I'm going to pack up my stuff tonight; I think it's better if I go home with him. I'll have tomorrow to get ready to go back to work."

He did not move from his work. "Fine."

"We're going round in circles, Harry. I need to get back to my life…"

"I said, fine, JJ."

He could see her reflection in the window over his desk; she was staring at the ceiling in frustration; for some reason it made him feel better.

"Don't do that, Harry."

"Do what?"

"You know damn well, what."

"I'm sure I don't."

He heard her footsteps in the hall as she went to pack. It was childish, it was petty, but it felt good.

'_**No man is an island', but you do that very well.  
It sure takes a fool to find another.**_

The doorbell chimed and JJ rushed down the hall, thinking it was Garcia with her son. Opening the door revealed an older woman, with shoulder length brown hair, casually leaning against the doorframe.

"Hello?" It was more of a confused question than a greeting from JJ.

The other woman looked up and beamed at her, "You must be Jennifer. Kate Thompson." She extended a hand and JJ blindly shook it out of habit. "It's nice to finally meet you in the flesh."

"JJ, please. Are you here to see…?"

"Yeah, I missed our lunch date…just wanted to make sure he had eaten something that came out of the ground." She waved a container of salad between them, "I guess you've been looking after him, though."

He chose that moment to appear out of the office. "Senator! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Your repeated belief that the five main food groups are Chinese, Thai, pizza, cookies and coffee."

He took the proffered food and gave her a half smile. JJ excused herself and the senator took a moment to watch her young friend. She had expected him to be sparkling with the mysterious Jennifer staying. Instead, he looked dejected, despite his jovial front.

"She's nice."

"Yeah."

"If I were fifteen years younger," she paused as JJ walked from one room to another through the hall, "make it ten."

"You're married."

"You're not."

"I-"

"-make too many excuses. Men are so clueless about women."

He gave a genuine smile, "And you have all the answers?"

"God, no! I did, though, manage to actually _get_ a woman."

"Goodbye, Senator. Thank you for the food, the advice and the leering."

"My pleasure, Henry. I don't expect to see you in the office next week."

"I'll be fine."

"Good bye, JJ! It was nice meeting you!"

_**But I believe for every heart that**__**'s broken  
There's a stranger's smile to put it on the mend.  
Those old familiar feelings, seldom spoken,  
Out of nowhere,  
Come back again**_

JJ stayed in her room when the doorbell rang again. She did not need another reminder of his new life.

That left him to answer the door to Garcia and the shy little boy in her arms.

"Garcia, right?"

The woman nodded. "We weren't formally introduced at the hospital….I'm going to need your full name, address and social security number."

Henry stared at her. "Um, wh-why…"

She gave him an appraising look. "You can call me Penelope. I don't like strange people around my sunshine, not when she's like this."

"I'm not strange." Henry quickly defended himself.

Garcia tilted her head to one side and gazed at him. "What do you say, my little poppet? Does he get the family seal of approval?"

Henry could not stop the pain flashing across his face at the mention of JJ's family and their approval. It did not escape Garcia's attention.

"Where is my angel?"

"Packing."

"Then you," she thrust the boy into Henry's arms, strode through the door and past him, "look after my godson while I get to the bottom of things with young Jayj."

The two Henrys stared at each other with a bemused look. The elder settled the younger in his arms, shut the door and made his way towards the kitchen.

"You like cookies, Henry?"

The little boy lifted his head from Henry's shoulder and smiled at him as he nodded.

Henry looked into the questioning eyes of his charge and sighed; he pulled a jar across the counter and broke cookies with JJ's son. The boy giggled as he munched on a chocolate chip and shifted closer to Henry's chest.

Henry was back to square one, just with a different blonde-haired, blue-eyed heartbreaker.

_**I**__**'m restless, darling, I'm restless  
Waiting for you to look my way  
I don't think that I - the hour is getting late  
I can't wait  
Another day**_


	8. Chapter 8

**This Ain****'t A Love Song**

**By Scouting For Girls**

_**Every night, I remember that evening.**_

_**The way you looked as you said you were leaving.**_

_**The way you cried as you turned to walk away.**_

Garcia watched as JJ sat on her couch. It should have been easy: take her godson to JJ, drive them both home, have a nice evening on her own to recover from babysitting. Over the years, Garcia had learnt that 'should have been easy' was a pipe dream; JJ was in no state to be left alone tonight.

Sure that her friend was no longer sobbing uncontrollably, Garcia retreated to her bedroom and quickly dialled a number.

"_Prentiss_."

"Oh, Emily…my wonderful, wonderful friend." Garcia began with a false, almost manic cheeriness.

There was a long and resigned sigh from the phone, "_What happened?_"

"I've decided to wipe you from existence - no record that you were even born. How could you send me in there!?"

* * *

_**The cruel words and the false accusations.**_

_**The mean looks and the same old frustrations.**_

_**I never thought that we'd throw it all away**_

Garcia found JJ in Henry's bedroom, sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. She did not know where her friend's mind was, but it did not look particularly pleasant; there was a pained look on her face.

"Jayje?"

JJ turned her head to the voice and then shook herself as if she needed to physically bring herself back to the present. "Pen, hey. I'll be ready to go in a second."

Garcia pinned her to the bed with a look, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, really." JJ got up and crossed to the door, looking back at Garcia as she continued, "I just need to get away and move on."

She froze as she tried to walk through the door, only to find her path blocked by Henry and her son.

Garcia had to force herself to breathe as the tension in the room skyrocketed. Henry stiffened and silently handed the boy to his mother. He locked eyes with JJ, shook his head and then left.

JJ jumped as a hand came to rest on her shoulder, and when she faced Garcia, there was fire in her eyes. Henry giggled as he was passed back to his godmother.

Garcia frowned as she followed the blonde head that had stormed down the hallway. She caught up with them outside the office in time to see Henry holding his face in shock, small rivulets of blood seeping through his fingers. She did not know what had been said, but Garcia winced as she realised JJ's ring must have caught him. Any sympathy evaporated as JJ was shoved aside so he could retrieve a box.

_**But we threw it all away.**_

Henry hurled the box, narrowly missing JJ, out of the office and into the wall. Garcia was shocked at the ferocity as the contents of the box fluttered around them. The only sound to be heard was Henry's ragged breathing; he stood in the doorway, nostrils flaring and eyes glistening. JJ said nothing, stunned by such out of character behaviour.

The two women followed Henry as he marched with purpose towards the front door, picking up JJ's bags as he went. The suitcase was the first item to be heaved out the door, bouncing down the steps to come to rest on the sidewalk.

"What the Hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind?"

Garcia gasped as JJ angrily accused him, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stop midway through sending her messenger bag to join the suitcase.

"You need to get away from me? Go. Leave. Get out of my life and don't you dare come back."

Henry's words were calm and measured, but his face was a sea of emotion. JJ took a step back and gaped at him. Garcia had no idea what was going on, but the way JJ squared her shoulders had the analyst wanting to hide behind the sofa - JJ very, very rarely lost her temper.

"Why don't you grow up? This is what you do, Henry, you pull your silent brooding crap! Even now, even though _you know_ that _I know_ exactly what the problem is, you're still keeping secrets. You've had all of me, Harry…The good and the bad…But all I get is the same _fucking_ smile that I don't understand, then you send me on my way. We've been having the same fight all week. For once, why don't you man up and just say what you're thinking?"

JJ's challenge was accompanied by finger pointing and it seemed to make something in Henry snap. His eyes flashed with something indescribable as he grabbed JJ's wrist and took a step closer to her. His voice was low and even as he answered, "I never abandoned you - not once. After everything I've done, everything I've given up, all the times I had to put you back together, you want to 'move on'. I don't care anymore, I don't have the heart for it….So help me, Jennifer, you've stomped all over it so many times I think it finally broke. Please get out of my house."

"Harry…" JJ pleaded, her voice hitching as she whispered his name. He had never spoken to her like this; they had never fought like this. She realised he was deadly serious.

"Congratulations, JJ. You've run far enough away that I don't have the energy to catch you. Get out."

* * *

_**And I**__**'m a little bit lost without you.**_

_**And I'm a bloody big mess inside.**_

_**And I'm a little bit lost without you.**_

_**This ain't a love song - this is goodbye.**_

"_This was never going to end well._" Emily proclaimed as she finished listening to Garcia's account of what had happened.

"I still have no idea what 'this' was."

Emily snorted, "_I honestly don't think they do, either._"

"This is the same Henry Sheridan that JJ had me research during that case in Pennsylvania?"

There was silence as that question filled in a few blanks for Emily. "_That's how she knew….Jeez. How is she?_"

Garcia blew out a breath and waved a hand in frustration, knowing the profiler could not see it. "She finally stopped crying. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, she wasn't this upset when Will left."

"_Because she had him._"

"What…who?"

"_Harry. She wasn't upset that Will left because she still had Harry._"

"Why is this guy so important? She's never mentioned him once in all the time I've known her….Should I be wondering why she named her son after a man no one knew anything about?"

"_Why does anyone name their kid after someone? She respects him, she wants him to know she cares, she wants to keep him close…all of the above._"

"I'm not sure I'd be so generous about someone who kicked me out of his life."

"_We only hurt the ones we love._"

_**This ain**__**'t a love song - this is goodbye.**_

"The hurt part I understand." Garcia scoffed.

"_Last time it was JJ doing the kicking. They came back from that._"

"So, if he gets hit by a car…?"

"_Garcia…_" A loud thumping on her front door interrupted Emily. "_I've got to go, no plotting vehicular assault._"

_**I**__**'ve been lost, I've been out, I've been losing.**_

_**I've been tired, I'm all hurt and confusion.**_

_**I've been mad, I'm the kind of man that I'm not.**_

"I screwed up."

Emily was not surprised that Henry had made his way to her; the bottle of Scotch was also expected. He had said it was for the pain, and Emily was not entirely convinced that he meant the nasty looking gouge in his face.

"I thought that was how you two did things?" She asked, sipping her own drink as she waited for an answer.

"This time it's beyond repair; things were said that shouldn't have been. I…we…lost control."

Emily considered her next words carefully, knowing that he was likely to shut down, but went for straightforward and hoped that he would appreciate the honesty. "Maybe you should just tell her you love her."

Henry smiled, although it never reached his eyes. "I tried, she didn't understand."

"What did she say?" Emily leant forward and rested her elbows on the kitchen island they were seated at.

"She said that it made everything my fault. If I had asked her out, none of this would have happened."

A light dawned in Emily's mind. "You didn't say the words…and she didn't _not _say them back." She rolled her eyes at the complicated relationship her friends had. "Here's an idea: how about going up to her and saying 'I love you'?"

Henry stared at Emily for several seconds, hearing JJ's words echo in his head.

_Why don__'t you man up and just say what you're thinking…._

_**And, though I**__**'m down, I'll be coming back fighting.**_

_**I may be scared and a little bit frightened.**_

_**But I'll be back, I'll be coming back to life**_

Henry had been tapping his finger against the glass in his hand - a tic that Emily recognised he did when he was thinking particularly hard about something. "If I do this and lose her…"

Emily looked up in surprise. She thought Henry was done talking. The quiet, desperate tone he used and the anguished look on his face spoke volumes to her. Years of profiling gave her an advantage but anyone could see how this relationship had become so dysfunctional; Henry loved JJ but was too scared of losing the only person he had to do anything about it.

"I hear that you threw her out and told her not to come back." Emily tossed back.

"There's a limit, Emily. I can only hold her up for so long before I break."

_**I**__**'ll be coming back to life.**_

Emily shrugged and drained her glass, "So let her hold you."

_**And I**__**'m a little bit lost without you.**_

_**And I'm a bloody big mess inside.**_

_**And I'm a little bit lost without you.**_

_**This ain't a love song - this is goodbye.**_

_**This ain't a love song - this is goodbye.**_

"You know, I told you once that everything happens for a reason."

JJ looked up at Garcia, fingers toying with the glass of wine left over from dinner. Seeing that she had her guest's attention, Garcia continued, "Maybe, just maybe, you and Mr. Tall, Dark and Brooding needed to get things out in the open."

"It's never been this bad before…We fought, I've even hit him before….This time we meant it. I've never meant it before."

"Then maybe you're better off without him."

JJ's face registered shock, terror, and realisation. In that order.

_**And you can try, you can try,**_

_**But you'll never keep me down.**_

_**And you can try, you can try,**_

_**But you'll never keep me down.**_

"Henry Sheridan! I told you not to come into the office for a week. It's only Wednesday. "

Henry waved the Senator away and started barking orders at his assistant. He went through his messages as the senator trailed him into his office.

"How's JJ?"

Henry stopped dead, halfway between standing and sitting in his chair, before recovering and dropping down with a sigh, "Complicated."

"Excellent. Now we have a topic of conversation for lunch." she beamed.

"I quit."

"Tough cookies. I don't feel like training another monkey."

Henry let a small smile grace his lips. "Tell me something, Kate…What do you do when you've really screwed up with your wife?"

"Flowers, favourite junk food - you should be good with that - and grovelling." She folded her arms across her chest as she leant on the doorframe and fixed him with a serious look, "What did you do?"

Henry merely smiled. "Thank you, Senator."

_**And I**__**'m a little bit lost without you.**_

_**And I'm a bloody big mess inside.**_

_**And I'm a little bit lost without you.**_

_**This is a love song - this ain't goodbye.**_

"You wanted to see me, JJ?" Emily knocked lightly on the open office door as she answered her summons.

"Yeah…How's Harry?"

Emily considered lying to spare her friend - she would be damned if she could explain what he had been doing since he'd disappeared from her apartment two weeks ago. At some point, Emily seemed to have nailed her colours to Henry's mast.

"He's happy."

JJ stilled all movement and blew out a breath she had been holding. He was happy, that was a good thing; he was happy because they had 'broken up', that was not so good - selfish as it was.

"You seem disappointed." Emily stated simply.

"I…" JJ faltered, ashamed at feeling what she did, "I was hoping he'd be as miserable as me. I think I'm actually more angry than disappointed."

"If it helps, he's happy because he's up to something. We…talked some things through - and the senator says he got his groove back."

JJ smiled for the first time in a long while. "He's moved on."

Emily saw the smile drop for a moment before it returned, a little more forced than before. "JJ, I've found that Henry Sheridan can be many things - over you is not one of them."

_**It**__**'s alright, cos you can try,**_

_**But you'll never keep me down.**_

_**It's alright, I may be lost**_

_**But you'll never keep me down**_

_**You can try, you can try,**_

_**But you'll never keep me down**_

_**You can try, I know I'm lost**_

_**But I'm waiting to be found.**_

_**You'll never keep me down.**_

Henry sat on the porch of the house, watching the neighbourhood pass by as he waited for a particular car to pull up. He had left the office after his enforced lunch with the senator earlier in the week and spent the last few days trying to find several items. He had settled on flowers (or, rather, one flower in particular), New York Cheesecake, and his best kicked puppy face.

The car that pulled into the drive stopped a few feet shorter than it might have on any other day. The driver's door opened and quietly clicked shut. Henry was still keeping his vigil as he waited for the car's occupants to reach him. He squinted up as a shadow fell across his feet.

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

"I just got back from a case…"

"I know. Emily called to say you were back."

"Did she, now? And why would she do that?"

"We may have been in cahoots."

A small grin was squashed before it could appear. "Cahoots?"

"Don't knock it."

A heavy silence hung in the air as JJ shifted her son from one hip to the other. Henry tried to get up from the steps with his gifts in one hand, but his leg would not cooperate. JJ watched him struggle for a moment before rolling her eyes and thrusting a hand in his direction and yanking him to his feet.

"What the Hell _is_ all that?"

Henry handed her the cheesecake. "I would have brought dinner, but I wasn't sure when you'd get here. Pie, however, will survive pretty much anything."

"What about the plant?"

Henry motioned for her to switch her son for the plant he was holding. JJ frowned but complied, she trusted him, after all.

"It's a white violet," he explained as she examined it, "flowers have meaning, you know."

JJ looked back up at him, whispering softly, "What does this one mean?"

Henry inhaled deeply before he answered equally quietly, "Let's take a chance on happiness."

"Is that so?"

"Jennifer, will you have dinner with me?"

"Are you asking me out?"

Henry stepped closer and allowed himself a moment to get lost in her eyes. This was it.

"I'm saying I don't want to _fix_ this anymore. Our relationship is held together with elastic bands and duct tape….I'm asking if it's about time we got a new one."

There were no fireworks or brass bands, no Hallelujah chorus, just a man asking her out to dinner. JJ found that she was fine with that; this simple thing he had done felt more important to her than any expensive restaurant or jewellery ever could. Any man could give you a dozen red roses; it took thought to find a flower that said something he could not. Any man could take you to dinner; it took consideration to wait with dessert on your doorstep because he did not know how bad the last case had been. Any man could say he loved kids; it took instinct to be completely oblivious to the fact that he had rocked your son to sleep on his shoulder.

"How about we order some pizza and go from there? We need to make sure we got all the fighting out of our system."

"About that…"

JJ waved a hand as she began to unlock the door. "What's done is done."

"And now we start again?"

"Now we start again."


End file.
